


Tanaka in Trouble

by TheIkranRider



Series: F-Zero Fanfics [6]
Category: F-Zero (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, One Shot, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Originally Posted on deviantART, Rare Characters, Rare Fandoms, Rare Pairings, Rare Relationships, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25785076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIkranRider/pseuds/TheIkranRider
Summary: Based on the anime episode, Target Tanaka. John gets his naïve butt captured by Dark Million in search of data chips, and they hired the professional assassin, Pico, to do the job as they try and sabotage a concert in Port Town. Will the Task Force succeed?
Relationships: Kate Alen/John Tanaka
Series: F-Zero Fanfics [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867759
Kudos: 1





	Tanaka in Trouble

**A/N: Alright, this was a request for my good friend, PrincessGumballWatterson777, as she wanted me to do a rewrite of the last English dub for the F-Zero anime, Target Tanaka. Damn you 4Kids TV for squandering it and making it get cancelled!**

**Anyway, there would be some slight changes for obvious reasons. Onward!**

The recent event began just when the holiday season was about to take place. Christmas was only a few weeks away, and already Mute City was bustling with the festivities. From the busy, congested streets to the endless strings of lights, the hectic holidays were truly upon the world. And for the upcoming occasion, there was a package being delivered to the home base of the Elite Mobile Task Force.

Meanwhile, their chief officer, John Tanaka, was snoozing in his lounge chair at his oval office, unaware of the mysterious visitor. Instead he was dreaming on being with Kate Alen, the black blues singer that was once a target of Dark Million not long ago. In his delirious mind, they looked great as a couple, though everybody knew who the ACTUAL lover boy was. Still, he was so deep in his slumber.

"Katie, I love you..." he sighed.

Just then, a chirp interrupted his reverie, to the point where he startled off his chair and fell as he clumsily climbed onto it. Finally on the next try, he managed to retrieve his balance and answered the call. Sure enough, it was Jody displaying on the large flat screen.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you, Tanaka."

"No, uh, I was just doing some brainstorming," he bashfully smiled while twiddling his fingers.

"I just want to let you know that none of the data chips have shown up on the streets yet."

His face turned stern for once. "Right, it's a real setback for Dark Million. If they can't sell on what they steal, it'll hurt their abilities to fund their plans."

"I'll check back in with you if anything changes."

By the time the receiver went dead, Tanaka began to sweat as he rubbed his face.

Meanwhile, the strange deliveryman wearing a turtle shell with an engraving in the back met up with a couple cops outside. In fact, he almost looked like an anthropomorphic reptile with his scaly, eerie green skin.

"Hey, where are you going?" one of the guards spoke.

The stranger hesitated, then he replied in a distinctive voice, "I have an important package to be delivered right away."

The first patrolman got his urgency. He then smiled and volunteered, "I'll have to stop it by the mail room so you could leave it with me and I'll drop it off."

"I'll need his signature for the person addressed to. Company policy. It's for the head director, John Tanaka."

The two officers looked at each other. Then one of them offered, "Ok, go ahead."

"Thanks a lot." The pairing escorted the carrier toward the elevator and ascended to the utmost floor.

* * *

Back at the office, Tanaka was still daydreaming about something he couldn't get off his mind, He was just combing his hair back when he thought aloud, "I can't believe I'm going to Kate Alen's concert." His arms were outstretched, then he had his hands clasped together as he held them toward his cheek. "I've never dated a celebrity before, but I sure would make an exception for her." As he stood, he gazed over to a large wall poster of the black pop star wearing a police uniform, navy blue hat and all, though it was obvious it had been photoshopped. "Don't worry, darling. We'll be together soon."

He then fantasized wearing a formal, pink outfit standing within a huge crowd as she sang, "Love Rules the Universe." He then went over to the poster and began smooching her chest. Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Tanaka nearly got off his feet.

He immediately backed off and cried, "Who could THAT be!?" He tried to keep his composure as he rushed back to his perch. "C-c-come in."

Alone, the peculiar package man marched up toward Tanaka and his large table. "Director Tanaka?" he asked holding the same large, white box.

"Yeah that's me." he said casually.

"Package for you." The green alien lend it on top of his desk.

John just looked over it funny. "This is odd. I was never expecting a package. I think it'll blow up when I open it," he joked with a grin.

That caught the weird deliveryman off guard. _He knows._

John's doubt broke, "Eh, I do love surprises." He then saw the attendant turn away. "Wait. You're not going anywhere, mister. You don't think you're gonna get away from me that easy, do you?" He stood up with the box in his extended arms. "Turn around and take this back."

The guy turned around and took the package away. Sweat was breaking from his head and his yellow eyes narrowed. _What is he gonna do now?_ His mind then shifted as a small drawer opened.

_John accused the strange dealer with a miniature, shiny blue rifle pointing at him, "Nice try, ace. But I knew you were trouble the second your shell walked through the door."_

As soon as he went back into the present, he started to panic, turned on his heels, and ran off. _  
_  
"Wait a second, don't you want me to sign for this package?" the officer asked.

The mysterious mailman wandered through the halls with his green cap covering his face, until he was abruptly halted by someone.

"Hold it." Jody stopped the intruder in his tracks. "Now turn around slowly." He still never obliged. "Do it!" Just then, the reptilian creature took off his long, heavy tan cape and revealed his true colors. He pointed a colorful bazooka and opened fire. Jody jumped out of the way and she shot her own weapon. But the stranger leapt and crashed out of the window and fell several feet down. However, he was prepared as he opened a parachute and glided over the city streets.

Jody ran straight for her boss who was still admiring the package. "Tanaka! Throw that package out the window!"

Tanaka stammered, then Jody tackled him to the ground just seconds before the box landed, rolled to the side, and exploded next to a wall! After a few moments, the smoke cleared and she slowly got on her feet. She held out a key fob and spoke into it, "Security to the Director's Office."

"Eh, my ears are ringing. I hope I'll be able to hear Kate sing tonight," he moaned as he still laid there just as Lucy, EAD, Jack, and Tinsel showed up.

"Hey! Hey, what happened?! Are you alright?"

John stood there proudly, "You can all relax. He didn't get me." Unfortunately he didn't get the attention he was expecting. Instead, they rushed past him toward their associate.

She informed the group. "I'm afraid our deliveryman just flew away."

Jack gave her the scoop. "Rick went after him. We just came to make sure you were ok." John sighed deeply.

"Lousy creep." The top pilot was on the terrorist's tail, though he just hijacked a vehicle from a civilian after startling him while he leapt onto the front bender.

"Hey, come back here!" he cried as he sped off. Although he was amazed by the immense speed the F-Zero machine was going as it chased after the suspect upon the busy highroads.

Without his cap, he gazed at the rear view mirror, noticing his pursuer. He used his recklessness as he bashed away some passing vehicles. Rick tried his might to avoid damage then he boosted to catch up. The criminal never hesitated to shoot his firearm.

Rick just boasted as he grinned proudly, "It's gonna take more than that to stop the Dragon Bird!" Unfortunately, within a few more shots, the machine started to give way and swerve. He immediately pulled over to the side and watched over the guardrail while the assassin leapt onto a soaring spacecraft. The shape was recognized as one of Dark Million's cruisers. Rick went out of the cockpit and observe the convict escape. "Who is this guy?" he wondered.

* * *

At the garage, Dr. Clash looked up as he was doing repairs. Jody remained somber when Rick appeared before her. "He still got away?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. How's Tanaka?"

"He's just a little shaken up, but he just doesn't realize how lucky he was today."

"Yeah. That was a real close call."

"Well, I just don't get it."

"What, Jack?" Lucy asked.

"Out of the whole police force, why he'd go after Tanaka?"

"Perhaps the attacker went to the wrong office, or maybe it was a case of mistaken identity." EAD theorized, as intelligent as an android could get.

"Or maybe it was Zoda's way telling us to back off because we're preventing him from selling the data chips he stole." The captain added.

"He thinks if he gets rid of the boss, we'll give up." Rick concluded.

Dr. Stewart walked in, with Tinsel close to his side. "We've got something, Jody." The medico held out a tablet showing the deadly killer's image. "I read through a description in the database an ID of the attacker. Apparently he's one of the top shooters in the galaxy." Jody took the device and scanned over the sketchy lifeform. Lucy went to her side. "He's extremely intelligent, and ruthless."

"That's Pico!" Tinsel beamed. "I know him from anywhere! Dr. Stewart and I encountered him during the first F-Zero Grand Prix! He's the pilot of the Wild Goose, and he's a former member of the Poripoto army. It's a special unit stationed in Tortiz 3, specifically in Death Wind and the Devil's Forest." A few flashbacks racing against him rushed through Tinsel's mind. She went on as she recovered, "He's definitely one of the most nefarious gunmen in the universe, and he was rumored to cause that Horrific Accident."

The doc continued, "Once he has a target in his sights he won't give up till he hits it." Tinsel then remembered the time when Pico attempted and failed to set off explosives in every F-Zero machine during a race if they should go above or below the red zone; luckily she called her Duelist friends, Yugi and Joey, in such short notice, and Capt. Falcon was able to deactivate the blimp the gunman operated.

"We'll have to make sure Tanaka's safe until we find Pico and stop him." Jody commanded.

* * *

She then guided the clueless chief to a discreet room that hardly had any windows. It was only another small office complete with a table, a few chairs, and a couple fresh plants. "Feeling better, Tanaka?"

He simply bragged, "Well, I feel that my head's in a bell tower but other than that I'm ok."

"Pico won't give up just because he failed to get you on the first try. That's why I'm putting you on 24-hour protection."

This clearly wasn't what he wanted. "Ugh, does that mean you're gonna be following me around all the time?"

"It'll be much more safer and practical to keep you in here." EAD said. Lucy wasn't too far from the group.

"But this place doesn't have a bed. How am I supposed to get any sleep?"

"You use a chair like you do in your office." Jody grinned,

Tanaka sighed deeply. "Eh... That means I'm gonna miss the concert."

Jody wasn't sure what he was rambling about. "What?"

He tried to immediately cover his tracks, but it did no good. "Ah-nothing, Jody. Nothing." He sulked as he walked toward the blinds, just about to open them.

"Tanaka!" His close associate stopped him. "If you would keep out, Pico would sneak in, and that would give him a chance for some target practice."

John faced the closed windows again. Although his demeanor changed almost instantly to glee. "I'm gonna get to you somehow Kate!" He pointed a finger toward the glass.

From the outside, Pico noticed him as he spotted through the magnifying lenses on his cannon. "He spotted me instantly..!" he said as he backed off.

* * *

Hours later, Lucy closed the tall, opaque doors to John's new hideaway. He continued to lament as he leaned on them. "Now I won't be able to see Kate because of that stupid stalker. Ohh…" The out-of-luck man dragged his feet toward the lavender couch. "Her manager was going to introduce her to me backstage after the show." He stretched backward. "There must be some way for me to get away from here so I could see Kate tonight." From his peripheral vision, he saw a stack of turquoise boxes stacked up. "Hm? Wait a second..." A stunning idea struck him like lightning. "I WILL see Kate tonight!" he responded in ecstasy and got to work.

* * *

Meanwhile in a desolate shed, Zoda was leading a gang of Death Soldiers as they carried a bunch of big cases full of the stolen bounty. Octoman and Bio Rex were among them. "As soon as the trucks are loaded up with our stolen data chips, we'll hit the road."

"Where are we taking that stuff, Zoda?" the cephalopod asked.

"Straight to the Mute City Space Port."

"The Space Port?" the genetically-engineered tyrannosaur snorted.

"But luckily for us there's a luxury cruiser docked there that scheduled to leave the port tonight."

The six-armed henchman wondered, "But Zoda, I thought you want to sell those chips not go on vacation."

His grin spread wider, "The cops won't be looking for us on the cruise so that's how we'll make our getaway."

"Our luggage would be the data chips. And we'll sell them off planet. You are a genius, Zoda."

"I know, I know!" He started to make his signature maniacal laugh. Two massive dark grey trucks puled away with the quartet and the chips inside.

* * *

Minutes later, at Gate 3, two deliverymen were carrying a very big case, almost weighing close to a ton. "This is heavy. I wonder what's in it."

"Whatever it is, it's fragile. Just be careful not to drop it."

The guys accidentally did just that. The package landed with a thud and an "Ow!"

One of the carriers startled, "Hey, did it just let out a scream?"

They managed to board it in a carry van en route to Kate's concert. "This is a rushed delivery for the cruise ship, Diamond Star, at the Port Town Space Port."

they didn't know someone smiling wryly was already in it. "Hm hm. Sometimes you gotta think inside the box." The stowaway, John Tanaka, was so thrilled with himself. Although the cramped space eventually became too much for him. He was running short of air and wiggle room as he struggled to break free. "I can't get out!" Luckily, the van hit a speed bump, causing the box to roll down the road and burst open.

Seconds later, a nearby taxi cab pulled up. Tanaka immediately got in it. Little did he know, the driver was the same diabolical alien from before.

Pico replied casually, "Hi. Where can I take you, pal?"

Tanaka didn't waste any time. "Take me to the Mute City Space Port! I'm in a hurry so step on it!" He did just that as he put the pedal to the metal. Though as he looked in the rearview mirror, he knew something was afoot as he recognized his unwary passenger.

_I can't believe it. He must have figured out Zoda's scheme._

"I feel you and I have met someplace before."

Pico was startled, but he instantly made a white lie, "Ah-well, maybe you have rode in my cab before."

"Eh, maybe." the naïve officer was easily convinced as he sat back in his seat. No matter who he was, he was still so obsessive on seeing Kate during the Diamond Star performance.

"So, why are you in such a big hurry to get to the space port, buddy?"

"I'm on an important mission." he said with a smile.

"And what's that?" Pico faced him.

"Let's just say there's somebody I have to see." Pico slowly took out a green pistol from his vest. "I've been waiting a long time for this opportunity. And nobody's gonna stop me now."

_He knows. He's warning me not to pull any tricks. If I'll try to blast him, he'll get me first._

* * *

Back at the Task Force base, Lucy apologized for letting Tanaka slip through her fingers. Rick, Jody, and Tinsel were with her. "I'm sorry, Jody. I only left him out because he told me he wanted to see me."

"I guess he's not as dumb as we think he is." the captain concluded.

"I wonder where he ran off to." Rick said.

"He said something about a concert." Her mind switched gears as he recalled Tanaka's statement.

_Ah...that means I'm gonna have to miss the concert._

Lucy drove it all home. "Hey, isn't Kate Alen giving a big concert tonight?"

Rick was just as amazed. "That's right, Lucy. Kate said that she's singing on the Diamond Star Tour cruiser tonight." His mind flashed back to the time he and EAD watch her perform with a warm heart instead of a stern attitude. "He invited EAD to thank us for protecting her from Zoda. Tanaka is friends with Kate's manager so he got a ticket to the concert, too."

"Maybe." the leader said with concern.

"No matter where Tanaka went there's a good chance Pico's tracking him. If we don't find him soon it may be too late."

"Yeah." Tinsel couldn't agree more with what her best friend was saying, as much as she didn't like him very much.

"Let's get to that star cruiser." Jody led them off. "Although as much as you wanted to see Port Town, Tinsel, you gotta stay on guard; this isn't the time for sight seeing, you know."

"Right..." She did feel a little disappointed, but she knew they had a job to do. "I'll try and concentrate as much as I can, Jody."

"Let's go then." They boarded a small goldenrod cab and they were on their way to the luxury ocean liner.

* * *

The exuberant announcer called from inside the massive, elaborate cruise line, "On behalf of the captain and crew of the Diamond Star welcome aboard. Tonight we are delighted to host an exclusive concert from the one and only, Kate Alen. And after her concert we head into orbit! Please proceed to the main port immediately and bon voyage!" The main deck was extremely crowded with numerous diehard fans of humans and extraterrestrials.

Pico was watching from a guardrail overhead. "Tanaka's smart. He knew I couldn't pick him up in this crowd."

Zoda was just as angry as he broke the news inside a distant storage area. "Tanaka knows!? How can he figure out my plan so fast?"

The Wild Goose pilot replied, "He's the most brilliant cop I've ever seen. Tanaka never seems to miss a trick. He anticipates every move we make" Zoda was trying to hold his rage back as his hand was shaking, holding a forkful of strawberry shortcake. "We should call off and leave while we still have a chance."

"WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. Then he took a bite of the dessert, but something was wrong as his throat began to burn. Vile rose up, causing him to spit it out. He stood up in bitter hatred, "I had you to get RID of Tanaka but you're running scared!" He sat as be held his aching stomach. "These blasted data chips are giving me acid reflux."

"I don't believe you're supposed to eat them." Octoman couldn't believe how crazy and stupid he was.

"How many cops did Tanaka bring?" Bio Rex asked.

"He's alone." Pico said without hesitation.

"You've got to be kidding."

"He must be really tough if he knows he can take us all on by himself." the crafty octopus was intrigued the most.

"I don't care how tough he is; I hired you to get rid of him." Zoda ordered toward his hitman. Pico was undoubtedly right for the sniper job.

* * *

Kate was just finishing her usual number, "Love Rules the Universe," and the audience couldn't get enough of her finesse, not even John. _Mrs. Kate Tanaka._ He thought dreamily.

* * *

Zoda rallied up his troops. "Listen up! We are going to take Tanaka by surprise right before the second half of the concert!"

John was inside the restroom, making the final touches on his precious outfit. "Attention please, the concert will resume in three minutes. Please return to the auditorium."

"I have to look my best when I go backstage tonight. This is my big chance to win Kate over. I should probably play a little hard to get. But that won't be easy."

He daydreamed about him being with Kate, though he had to imitate both sides. It was definitely a creepy sight. "I know your singing was quite adequate." He then switched sides and his voice tried and failed to match Kate's own voice. "Oh, John I've been singing solo but I know you and I would make a perfect duet." He then returned to his usual demeanor. "I don't want to be rushed into any kind of commitment, Kate." He then switched to Kate again and made some smooches. "How can I resist..?" He made some imaginary kisses again. "One kiss."

His solo performance was interrupted as he was being ambushed by Octoman!

* * *

Kate just returned onstage from her short break, though Lucy's binoculars cannot find the chief anywhere in the tables. "I don't think Tanaka's in here, Jody."

"Then we'll have to split up and search the rest of the ship."

"Roger." Lucy, Rick, and Tinsel responded in unison. The carrot top went by herself, as did Jody, while Rick went with Tinsel; she wasn't really the most dedicated out of the bunch and she could admit to it. So she was pretty nervous on getting lost in a luxurious cruise ship, not to mention the numbers Kate were performing were a bit distracting.

Jody descended to the lower deck of the ship, and she spotted a Death Soldier go through a shifting door. She contacted her teammates on her key fob communicator, "I think I found where Tanaka is. Come to Level 2."

"Looks like we found a spy." Bio Rex growled.

"I'm afraid we need to eradicate the young lady." Octoman added.

"Aren't you part of the seafood buffet?" Jody mocked the cephalopod, who squirted ink toward her. She dodged it quickly and the clueless fish hit a wall as he blindly continued his barrage, stinging Bio Rex's eyes. He roared in pain, and Jody was able to knock the weak anthropomorphics down.

* * *

Tanaka was tied up on a back wall that nearly matched his outfit. Pico kept firing, though he was just fooling around as his bullets kept on missing his number one target. The chief trembled and screamed in great terror. Zoda yelled, "Quit acting scared. We know you have nerves of steel."

"Please, let me go or I'll miss the end of the concert! Kate will be waiting for me backstage!" he begged.

"Still acting!" Pico resumed his assault.

"Ahhh!"

The leading man was growing more and more impatient. "I was looking for a brilliant performance all night but Pico's got a job to do."

"I'll do anything. Please don't hurt MEEE!" Tanaka was very close to tears.

Suddenly the turtle's rifle was knocked out of his clutches by her own pink pistol. "I'm sorry to break up your little party but I can't take up a friend of mine."

"Jody!"

"This was a trap." Pico realized.

"He did bring other cops to back him up." Zoda was just as vulnerable as the rest of the group.

"Hold it right there, Zoda!"

A male voice belonged to a certain archrival, crouched on a large stack of packages. Lucy and Tinsel were right with him. "Wheeler! I should've known you shown up."

"I wouldn't pass up the chance to miss a rat like you."

"Go get them outta here!" the maniac demanded the robot soldiers. Fortunately, they were hardly a match for Rick's fiery strength, nor Tinsel's freezing firearm from her Silver Comet.

Rick rushed into the scene. "You're next, Zoda!"

Jody was just untying her hapless friend as Lucy and Tinsel continued to fire. "We can handle things here, Tanaka."

"Hurry, sir!" the apprentice shouted.

"Thanks, Jody, I thought I was a goner."

"I'll get you, Tanaka!" Pico screeched with his gun drawn. Lucy and Rick looked on as Tinsel fired her ice beams and froze Pico on contact. From the debris a few Death Soldiers slipped, causing the boxes to topple on top of them.

Zoda hurriedly grabbed his pre-extinct reptilian friend and began to retreat inside the caravan. "Ergh! You win this time, but you haven't seen the last of me!"

Rick wasn't entirely convinced, though. Tinsel swore under her breath they would apprehend him. Someday.

* * *

Tanaka recovered from his stupor. "What was that about?"

"Zoda escaped, but we got the data chips." Jody summarized the chaos.

"We'll get Zoda." Rick promised.

"Yeah, you can count on it." Tinsel added.

"Did you come here to catch the concert or to catch Zoda?" Lucy queried, wondering what story he'll come up with.

"Well, you see...I got a ticket for the concert because I had to hunt Zoda before he'd try to smuggle the chips off planet."

Ironically, Jody seemed to buy into it. "This concert's been sold out for weeks. I'm impressed you were able to figure it out what Zoda was up to BEFORE he committed the crime. Maybe we have underestimated you, Tanaka."

"Maybe."

Tinsel, however, wasn't very pleased. Just then, the hostess of honor along with her midget manager ran up to the heroes.

"Kate! At last we meet!" Much to Tanaka's surprise, they simply rushed past him and his open arms.

"It's great to see you, Rick." the black singer said gladly. "Where's EAD?"

He responded bashfully, thinking he might've forgotten about the poor android, "Ah, actually, he couldn't make it tonight."

"Well I'm glad that you're here." She gave him a peck on the cheek, causing Lucy and Tinsel to hide a giggle.

"Ah, but Kate, what about me!?" Tanaka begged on his knees.

"If you don't go away, the officers would have to arrest you." Kate said sternly.

"Ah, Kate?" Her short assistant handed her the ticket, which actually had Tanaka's own name on it.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry." Kate said as she stood up.

"Oh, don't worry about me." John just sighed in despair. They never knew he could be so lovesick.

They enjoyed the rest of the performance, though Tinsel was just sitting back and soaking the stellar beauty as the cruiser sailed across the ocean and under the delightful starry sky.

* * *

A day later, she resumed her holiday shopping, and she just found a very special gift that was sealed in a golden, heart-shaped locket.

Meanwhile, the Dragon Bird was racing smoothly alongside the Great Star and the Super Piranha down the Beacon Port highway. While the clunky Wonder Wasp was trailing further and further behind. Tanaka was still begging with all his might his broken heart could possibly muster. "Kate! Wait up! I didn't get your autograph! Hey Kate, wait for meeeeee!"

**A/N: I remember this episode well, back in December of 2004, as it aired on the FoxBox just one week before Christmas. I'm not kidding. After the last episode, they decided to start over again with the pilot, The Legend Begins, and I had to record it while I was opening gifts. It's too bad that this episode aired again on March 2005 before the series was canned for good without a sneak peek nor a proper finale, hence that was when "Ending it All" as well as others came to be. So this one obviously takes place around the holidays just before my fic, "Merry Christmas, Rick."**

**Well, the request fic is finally out of the way, and I hope I did the dialogue right from the 4kids dub. So, see you all soon, F-Zero fans.**


End file.
